My Story by Janet Boniface
Hello, my name is Janet and I can usually be found at the Crawley meetings opening and closing them on behalf of Jo Fisher. I was elected as Secretary at the AGM and was asked to write something about myself.
I originate from Isleworth, Middlesex but spent from 1970 to 1997 in Wokingham, Berkshire. I moved to Maidenbower in Crawley when I changed jobs and began working as a Manager for the State Veterinary Service based in Reigate. I worked full time in a variety of roles for them and enjoyed living on my own in my brand new end terrace house.
Being a Civil Servant can have its benefits, as although the pay is not the best, the flexible working conditions, equal opportunity, diversity and disability regulations they follow are excellent. Their support at all levels has been of paramount importance to my ability to return to full time work after Fibromyalgia was diagnosed.
Why me? Like me, I am sure you have asked yourself this same question! Sometimes, life seems to throw everything it can at us without allowing us to pause for breath. This happened to me during 2000/01 and it was at this time that I developed Fibromyalgia.
I had two rear-end shunts in my car in May and July 2000, the second of which resulted in a whiplash injury. This was followed by my working away from home for 5 months and an 80 hours working week was the norm for most of that time. I returned home mid January 2001 because my father was diagnosed with lung cancer. He died 5 months later.
Within 2 weeks of my return, I was suffering from excessive stiffness in my lower back, broken sleep patterns, skin rashes, aching everywhere. I likened it to having flu symptoms but without the fever! My GP agreed that it could be the result of the long hours I had worked but immediately arranged for blood tests. There were some anomalies in these which she considered might mean the presence of rheumatoid arthritis. She wrote to the Rheumatologist and I was seen at the end of February. He diagnosed Fibromyalgia but was surprised by the speed with which it had developed.
My Mother suffered many years ago from Fibrositis and overall her health was not good. She endured considerable stress and was a constant worrier. I have had to deal with the death of my husband when I was 35 and my sons were 11 and 8 years old. My Mother had died 6 years before that, soon after my husband had surgery for a brain tumour. I could go on and list other major events in my life which have been difficult to overcome but I know that many of you have been, or are, in this place too which is why I mention this here.
I believe that there may be underlying physical reasons which lower our immune systems – Glandular Fever and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome to name two but, that Fibromyalgia is triggered partly by how we deal with what life throws at us. So many of you have said how hard it is to say ‘No’ to others. It makes us feel guilty because we believe we have let others down –this is not the case. To begin the healing process within ourselves, we have to recognise that we are the best judge of how we feel. The next stage is to be able to voice this to others – and I don’t just mean other sufferers, I include all those who ask us to do something when we really know we can’t or shouldn’t.
We are all energy beings but, this energy gets depleted as we deal with everyday situations around us. In confrontations with others we can pick up their ‘negative energy’ which further depletes our stores. As well as carrying out Reiki healing on myself, I have also learnt how to rid myself of this old used energy, so that new can take its place. This has been of enormous benefit to me and is a simple technique which anyone can follow. If you think of it as removing emotional baggage before it becomes baggage, then you are almost there!
I am very willing to talk to any of you about this and to explain it to you, if you so wish. Your wellbeing really does rest with you, as others can only help if you are honest enough to be able to say how you truly feel. This is not a cure, but it is a means of coming to terms with all aspects of your daily life by acknowledging them, thus freeing yourself to move forward. I believe that I am managing better as a result which is why I wish to share this with you.
Now that I have retired from the SVS, I try to manage the Fibro office when I can, draft letters and follow up anything that might be of interest to members. Sometimes I represent the group at local voluntary organisation meetings and accompany Jo to other meetings which we hope will benefit the group. Basically, I am using the skills I have acquired to spread the workload and am enjoying every minute of it! Perhaps my story will give some of you hope that you can turn things around and enjoy life once again. I do hope so.
Remember, take each new day as it comes – live in the moment, and do not regret the past or fret for the future. Conserve your energy!
 
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